I Wear A Hat Sometimes I must admit, what will surely be to the horror of Zane, that I wear a hat when I'm outdoors for any length of time. And not only a hat, but a western-style hat. Though I live in a Blue state and must look faintly ridiculous, I can't help but wear a hat, because its utility trumps any style concerns I have. However, though I think I'm out of style, because, let's face it, hats for grown men went out when Kennedy was inaugurated, I do look pretty good in it, if one just discards any notions of current fashion.

So why do I wear it? Well, as I've alluded to above, for the utility of something is usually more important to me than its appearance. The area of clothing is one of these areas. My reasons, therefore, are based on practical considerations:

1) I am very fair skinned.
2) I have very short hair. This is partly out of habit, and partly because I am balding, and therefore need to protect my shiny pate from the elements.

I happen to think close-cropped hair on balding guys looks better than any of the alternatives. Short hair on a balding man says: "Yes, I am balding, and this haircut strikes the proper balance between not calling too much attention to it, and pathetic attempts at denial or obfuscation of that fact. There will be no comb-overs or long hair in the back for me, no sirree".

So I wear a hat. But I don't wear it indoors.  ¶ 22:56